Bookish Feels: I'll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson

The Book: A brilliant, luminous story of first love, family, loss, and betrayal for fans of John Green, David Levithan, and Rainbow Rowell

Jude and her twin brother, Noah, are incredibly close. At thirteen, isolated Noah draws constantly and is falling in love with the charismatic boy next door, while daredevil Jude cliff-dives and wears red-red lipstick and does the talking for both of them. But three years later, Jude and Noah are barely speaking. Something has happened to wreck the twins in different and dramatic ways . . . until Jude meets a cocky, broken, beautiful boy, as well as someone else—an even more unpredictable new force in her life. The early years are Noah's story to tell. The later years are Jude's. What the twins don't realize is that they each have only half the story, and if they could just find their way back to one another, they’d have a chance to remake their world.

This radiant novel from the acclaimed, award-winning author of The Sky Is Everywhere will leave you breathless and teary and laughing—often all at once.

My Feels: Beautiful, heartbreaking, and poignant. Oh! My heart! The poetic writing is gorgeous, honest, and real, which made these characters leap off the page. You could just feel the yearning of these characters and the complexities within them. I liked how the novel portrayed that even good people can do bad things. That we make choices and have to live with them and how we should always be honest and true to ourselves. I also found the exploration of sexuality in the novel to be very well done and believable. I wish I had this book as a teen. Upon finishing, it impresses a new lens for you to see the world and as an adolescent it would have showed me the vibrant colors of life I'd missed. Remake your world, friends, by starting with this novel ;) You won't regret it.

'A Different Kind Of Universe' & my current state of mind.

This past weekend I finished my second draft of A DIFFERENT KIND OF UNIVERSE and I don't know how I feel about it. This MS has given me such mixed emotions. From a strange, frenzied brainstorming sesh that one Friday afternoon when the idea came to me, to the weary read-through where I felt myself cringing and wondering what I was even thinking when I wrote this story. There are many things I love about it, and some things I don't.

Deep down I know the MS is not at its full potential and I struggle with figuring out how to get it there or if it's even ready to be fully realized. There's an empty and confused feeling in the place where a sense of accomplishment should be. So it's time for other eyes to be on the MS to help me out of this tangled web I'm in so I sent the MS to three CP's on Saturday. And for the time being, I'll try not to think about it.

And right when I want to be done with it, a new character blows into my life and I get a 'shiny new idea' for my next project. It happened on Saturday, April 2nd, when my sister was in town. She, Michael, and I had finished brunch in Seattle and were headed back to the house. When we were going over the I-90 bridge, she (this character) manifested herself into my mind and told me her predicament. She was snarky, cynical, and not very likeable, but there was a reason why for it, and she told me that too, but not as an excuse but as a pull to draw me in. I turned to Michael, who was in the driver's seat, and told him about this idea. And speaking it out loud to him, I realized was just what the character wanted. I'd already started telling her story without even writing a single word.

Naturally after getting home, I headed to my desk, cracked open my notebook and jotted down the idea. And then I left it at that. I returned to ADKOU (because you always gotta finish, right?), but said character kept weaseling herself into my state of mind--despite never wanting to tell me her name (only her alias--Delilah). So, I ended up giving in. I gave her two pages and wrote her opening to get a feel of her voice and then I put it/her away.

Now that ADKOU is out with CP's, I know little miss Delilah is waiting for me, giving me glimpses of scenes to entice me, but I find myself afraid of a few things:

1. I'm afraid I'll have mixed feelings about this story like I did with ADKOU--and this kind of feeling makes my heart ache. Cue doubt: Am I not a good enough writer to pull it off? Are my ideas coming off stale? ARRGGGHHH. Go away doubt!
2. I don't know if I can tell Delilah's story the way she wants, because she's so unlike me or any character I've ever written and she kind of, um, scares me.
3. This MS would be considered 'Paranormal' and I don't know if the market will be opening up to that anytime soon (but of course, I know I should never write according to the market since it's so unpredictable).
4. I don't normally think of characters in the way I do Delilah. She has made herself known quite aggressively when I was thinking of writing a coming-of-age story that's been on the back burner for a while. Which makes me wonder, am I slightly crazy? Because she's so vibrant and pulsing. I've never experienced that with any other character. With TJE, Avere was dragging me into her adventure and opening her heart to me. With ADKOU, Lien wanted me to observe and to watch her get into sticky situations but also grow. Delilah is just. Well. She's basically telling it like it is and I am scrabbling to get down the words, but it's so hard because she's so complicated and it's a lot of work getting to know her. So, yeah. That's a challenge.

I know I'll probably work on Delilah's story next (since it's not like she's gonna let me off the hook), but I don't know where to start. Maybe once Delilah tells me her real name will I start working.

To you writers out there, how do your story ideas occur? I've found that it's different for each story I've written so far, is it the same for you? Comment below!

Bookish Feels: Firsts by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn

The Book: Seventeen-year-old Mercedes Ayres has an open-door policy when it comes to her bedroom, but only if the guy fulfills a specific criteria: he has to be a virgin. Mercedes lets the boys get their awkward, fumbling first times over with, and all she asks in return is that they give their girlfriends the perfect first time- the kind Mercedes never had herself.

Keeping what goes on in her bedroom a secret has been easy- so far. Her absentee mother isn’t home nearly enough to know about Mercedes’ extracurricular activities, and her uber-religious best friend, Angela, won’t even say the word “sex” until she gets married. But Mercedes doesn’t bank on Angela’s boyfriend finding out about her services and wanting a turn- or on Zach, who likes her for who she is instead of what she can do in bed.

When Mercedes’ perfect system falls apart, she has to find a way to salvage her reputation and figure out where her heart really belongs in the process. Funny, smart, and true-to-life, FIRSTS is a one-of-a-kind young adult novel about growing up. (From Goodreads)

My Feels: My friend Joan absolutely adored this book, so I knew I had to give it a go, and I'm SO GLAD I DID. This book is layered, filled with complex characters, and gave me such a mix of emotions. I gobbled this up so quickly immediately hooked by Mercedes voice. For someone who's sleeping with other people's boyfriends, I didn't think I would sympathize with the MC as much as I did. And because of that, I have to applaud Flynn for her characterization. She's developed fascinating characters and relationships that prompt the reader to keep reading. This is definitely a bang of a debut, so I'm excited to see what else Flynn comes up with next. If you haven't read this yet, I highly recommend putting this on your TBR list!

Bookish Feels: Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon

The Book: My disease is as rare as it is famous. Basically, I’m allergic to the world. I don’t leave my house, have not left my house in seventeen years. The only people I ever see are my mom and my nurse, Carla.

But then one day, a moving truck arrives next door. I look out my window, and I see him. He’s tall, lean and wearing all black—black T-shirt, black jeans, black sneakers, and a black knit cap that covers his hair completely. He catches me looking and stares at me. I stare right back. His name is Olly.

Maybe we can’t predict the future, but we can predict some things. For example, I am certainly going to fall in love with Olly. It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster.  (From Goodreads)

My Feels: So this is a book I would absolutely love as a teenager. As an adult, I found myself loving it too! With the exception of the plot twist (you'll either hate or love it, or if you're like me, saw it coming a mile away), everything is to be adored in this story. The rich and vibrant characters, the bits of art work that added to the story, the slow-burn of falling in love, and the human desire of wanting more. Well balanced and paced, this is the kind of read you'll burn through in one sitting cozied up with a blanket and a hot beverage. Super cutesy and fun with a lot of heart I know you'll enjoy.

Sister Weekend & Ellie Goulding Concert

This weekend was awesome! Mostly due to the fact that my sister came to visit! And of course, the Ellie Goulding concert we went to!

Since all my sisters live in California, it's such a special treat for me when they come up to Washington to visit!

To start, I took the day off on Friday and drove my sister to Seattle to explore. My sister's visited so many times she's practically seen everything, so it was fun to just walk around. I took her to this cute little crumpet shop called Queen Bee in Madison Park, a place I frequent, and was delighted that she liked it just as much!

After walking around the arboretum, we went to the grocery store to get supplies to roll sushi for dinner.

It was her first time rolling as well as Michael's so it was fun and relaxed Friday as we made our own rolls for dinner (California rolls, and spicy tuna rolls).

After, we rented the movie Brooklyn and I absolutely adored it. If you haven't seen it yet, I recommend checking it out!

Saturday morning we went out to brunch at Tallulah's. It's one of our favorite places that we take all of my family members too. After a run in the afternoon, it was finally time to get ready for the Ellie Goulding concert! To start off the night we did Happy Hour at Petit Toulouse and then headed over to the arena for the show.

Let me tell you, Ellie Goulding's voice is heavenly. Her albums don't do her voice justice. See her perform live and you'll understand why.

It was by far the best concert I've ever been to and I would totally see Ellie live again in a heartbeat!

Sunday, we kept it pretty relaxed by going on a leisure hike before getting some shrimp tacos from Cactus for lunch. Afterwards we headed to the Korean store to grab some ingredients for dinner.

During the day we watched A Little Chaos which was another great movie (I recommend that as well)!

Monday, I had to go back to work, but my sister and I made the most of it by getting pedicures after and making a lasagna bake for dinner.

Then just like that my sister's stay was over. It was hard to drop her off at the airport and I always get slightly nostalgic when my family leaves. Luckily, I'll be going back to California in just two months to see them all. For now, I'll just cherish the memories.

A Quarter of a Century

This past Saturday was my 25th Birthday. I am now a quarter of a century and I can't believe it. I was never one to celebrate aging. I've always wanted to stay young, stay a teen forever (you can tell I write Young Adult, right?). I'm not sure why I do. Maybe because everything is always so new, exhilarating, and exciting when you're that young. Or maybe because I feel accomplished if I meet my goals at a young age. All stupid thinking, really, but my do the years pass quickly. 

I remember how I've spent my birthday every year from age 14 to 25. This year, I tried to celebrate not just the milestone of 25, but the whole of my life. Because life is too short, and even if I can't be young forever, I feel blessed to have lived another year. And the next year is never a guarantee, so it's time to start celebrating.

So this year, Michael and I flew to Palm Desert to visit his rents and to celebrate my birthday with his family. Next year, I'll fly home to Sacramento and celebrate with my family. As you can tell, I absolutely love California. You can take the girl out of California, but you can't take California out of the girl. I love the heat. The sun. The fresh produce. I love it all.

I started my morning with a run then went to lunch with Michael's mother and sister. Afterwards, Michael took me around to Old Town La Quinta to check out the shops. They had this awesome nitrogen ice cream shop that I loved. So, so, so creamy.

After we checked out the local wine bar before heading back to the house to meet the rest of his family before dinner.

Since Michael's sister and I are only three days apart with our birthdays we went out to Lavender Bistro for dinner to celebrate with everyone. Everything was great! The ambiance, the company, the drinks, the food, and of course, the dessert!

Do you remember how you spent your last birthday? What do you look forward to on your special day? Comment below :)

Bookish Feels: Blackhearts by Nicole Castroman

No pirates in the book, but there is a complicated love story!

The Book: Blackbeard the pirate was known for striking fear in the hearts of the bravest of sailors. But once he was just a young man who dreamed of leaving his rigid life behind to chase adventure in faraway lands. Nothing could stop him—until he met the one girl who would change everything.

Edward "Teach" Drummond, son of one of Bristol's richest merchants, has just returned from a year-long journey on the high seas to find his life in shambles. Betrothed to a girl he doesn’t love and sick of the high society he was born into, Teach dreams only of returning to the vast ocean he’d begun to call home. There's just one problem: convincing his father to let him leave and never come back.

Following her parents' deaths, Anne Barrett is left penniless and soon to be homeless. Though she’s barely worked a day in her life, Anne is forced to take a job as a maid in the home of Master Drummond. Lonely days stretch into weeks, and Anne longs for escape. How will she ever realize her dream of sailing to Curaçao—where her mother was born—when she's stuck in England? 

From the moment Teach and Anne meet, they set the world ablaze. Drawn to each other, they’re trapped by society and their own circumstances. Faced with an impossible choice, they must decide to chase their dreams and go, or follow their hearts and stay. (from Goodreads)

My Feels: Do you like historical YA? Do you like diverse books? Do you love stories with heart and vibrant characters? This is for you.

And oh the ending! I'm still a little hurt about it!

The two main leads in this book were well done, the plot well thought out, and very current to the time in which it took place. Society plays a key part in this book but speaks volumes to our present day. Cue discussion about class, sexism, and etc.

I will admit that the majority of this story focused on romance. Good for me because I like that kind of thing, but those seeking historical fantasy may not want to ride the third wheel. The romance, I felt was genuine and believable so I didn't mind. I liked how both characters who were unhappy in their current circumstances came together and provided a deep companionship.

All in all, a pretty enjoyable read for a stormy Sunday :)