Bookish Feels: The Wrong Side of Right by Jenn Marie Thorne

The Book: Kate Quinn’s mom died last year, leaving Kate parentless and reeling. So when the unexpected shows up in her living room, Kate must confront another reality she never thought possible—or thought of at all. Kate does have a father. He’s a powerful politician. And he’s running for U.S. President. Suddenly, Kate’s moving in with a family she never knew she had, joining a campaign in support of a man she hardly knows, and falling for a rebellious boy who may not have the purest motives. This is Kate’s new life. But who is Kate? When what she truly believes flies in the face of the campaign’s talking points, she must decide. Does she turn to the family she barely knows, the boy she knows but doesn’t necessarily trust, or face a third, even scarier option? (From Goodreads)

My Feels: I felt like this was a fun book to read. Again, this one comes recommended by Michella! The rollercoaster of emotions Kate goes through pulled at my heartstrings. I couldn't help but be sympathetic to her character and her plight. Getting pulled into the spotlight and trying to acclimate to a new family is dizzying for sure, and I thought Kate did it well. In addition to her, I thought the character arcs were excellent. I liked the changes that everyone went through. Like Meg, the stepmother who could have been really awful, but wasn't. The twins who were both different in their own ways. The book was a little long at times, but I think the pacing made up for it. If you like political dramas YA contemp style. This one's for you.

Parachute Concert & Rebounds

Last weekend Michael and I went to the Parachute concert. I absolutely ADORE this band. I've followed them since their inception and have seen them live 3 times. And each time is always better than the last. Needless to say, we had a blast!

Lately I've been focusing on trying to relax. After ADKOU (the WIP I've been working on for the past two months) flopped, I knew I needed to do something to take the pressure off myself so I can fall in lovewith a story again. Oddly, the situation reminds me of dating. During my first break-up with a long term boyfriend, I found myself rebounding, hard. I did this because I needed a distraction from the gaping hole that was my chest. With more clarity, I realized me jumping into ADKOU was the same thing. I just wanted to write something and finish it, because I absolutely loved THE JEWELED EMPRESS. And I still love it. So it's hard going from a project you love to absolutely nothing. So I ended up jumping in too quickly just for the sake of doing something--for the sake of progress. But the thing about rebounding is that you can always learn from it, and sometimes they show you a different path, or they're a stepping stone to something better.

So a few things I learned from ADKOU:

• I can finish things. I should already know this, considering I've completed and revised two MS's before ADKOU, but it's a good reminder.
• I don't need to finish what I start. Just because I start a story, doesn't mean I necessarily need to finish. If I know the spark isn't there, why force it? It's like forcing yourself to be with someone even though deep down you know they aren't the one (sorry for all the dating references, but apparently I'm on a roll with this theme).
• I can write fast. Even though I have a full-time job and I have other obligations, I am capable of producing material in a short amount of time. But that doesn't mean I need to. Sometimes, you shouldn't rush a good thing because you may just ruin it. It's akin to wanting to take 'the next step' even though your S.O. isn't ready for it yet. Or taking out muffins from the oven when it hasn't had time to bake. That said, I know I have to trust the process and respect my creativity instead of cracking the whip at it.

A different path ADKOU showed me:

• I am more than one story and I am more than a writer. We can't have one thing defining us.
• Keeping a balanced life and living life fully are more important than using all my free time to write. Don't get me wrong. I love to write, and I love spending the whole day writing. And that's good on occasion. Six straight weeks, however, can make for a bad relationship with writing (the exception to this is if your job is to write, but if you're like me, struggling to balance writing with work, school, family, etc, it's not easy to do!) and that's what happened with ADKOU. I blocked out everything with the mantra, Write! Write! Write!, blaring in my head. It led to finishing, but it didn't make me feel accomplished like I thought it would.

A stepping stone to something better:

• Finally at peace with shelving the MS, I filled my time with things I love and enjoy: like people's company, food, sunshine, books, and TURN (currently obsessed with that show).
• Delilah's been lingering in my head. She wants her story told, so I started dabbling with the opening chapters. And I reallllly like it. I'm getting fluttery butterflies in my stomach. I'm taking it as a good sign. I sent the rough pages to my CP and she really liked it, too. I'm onto something I think. It's so awesome too because she was a character who came to me (on April 2nd) of her own accord. I didn't have to force this story out and I'm not rushing to finish it either. I am starting to grow attached to it, however, so I suspect I will finish it because I am excited to see how it turns out.

To sum up, no writing is ever wasted. Live life and enjoy it. Don't fall victim to the pressure you put on yourself. Give yourself a break once and awhile. And watch TURN so I can squee with you ;)

Bookish Feels: Please Don't Tell by Laura Tims

The Book: Joy killed Adam Gordon—at least, that’s what she thinks. The night of the party is hazy at best. But she knows what Adam did to her twin sister, Grace, and she knows he had to pay for it.

What Joy doesn’t expect is that someone else saw what happened. And one night a note is shoved through her open window, threatening Joy that all will be revealed. Now the anonymous blackmailer starts using Joy to expose the secrets of their placid hometown. And as the demands escalate, Joy must somehow uncover the blackmailer’s identity before Joy is forced to make a terrible choice.

In this darkly compelling narrative, debut author Laura Tims explores the complicated relationship between two sisters, and what one will do for the other. It’s a story that will keep readers turning pages and questioning their own sense of right and wrong. (From Goodreads)

My Feels: OMG. THIS BOOK. So dark, complicated, compelling, and twisty. Laura Tims is a debut author to watch out for.

A million thanks to my friend, and book blogger extraordinaire, Michella! She was kind enough to share her ARC with me despite us being on opposite coasts (she's the best, isn't she?).

If you like complicated stories, with interesting characters, and a side of tension. This is for you.

First, you have these two twins, Grace and Joy, who have a complicated sibling relationship seen through each of their POVs. The characters are just so raw and real, I found myself enraptured the whole time. Then throw in a blackmailer and you also get some mystery into the mix. Granted, I kind of knew who the blackmailer was, but that didn't detract the enjoyment I got from seeing the story unravel.

What I loved about this story were the layers. This is a book about sisters. About friendships. About rape. And also, revenge. Issues were woven into the story that elevated the piece as more than just a book. The characters (even the secondary ones) came to life (I love, love, love Grace's POV and Levi as a character). They, along with the plot, captivated me in such a way I couldn't do anything but finish the book. So my fair warning to you is to let yourself have a space of time where you can read this uninterrupted.

This book is so multi-dimensional. I love it. I can't wait to buy my copy on May 24th. It's just one of those books I know I will reread. Now, mark your calendars for the release day!

Bookish Feels: Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys

The Book: Winter, 1945. Four teenagers. Four secrets.

Each one born of a different homeland; each one hunted, and haunted, by tragedy, lies…and war.

As thousands of desperate refugees flock to the coast in the midst of a Soviet advance, four paths converge, vying for passage aboard the Wilhelm Gustloff, a ship that promises safety and freedom.

Yet not all promises can be kept.

Inspired by the single greatest tragedy in maritime history, bestselling and award-winning author Ruta Sepetys (Between Shades of Gray) lifts the veil on a shockingly little-known casualty of World War II. An illuminating and life-affirming tale of heart and hope.

My Feels: Historical fiction. I am in awe of writers who can weave a story and capture the essence of a pivotal time--like times of war. To be honest, I never knew about the tragedy that takes place in the book. So thank you Sepetys for making me fully aware.

There is so much to love about this story. The characters who all have their own story and inner turmoil that haunt them as they seek passage. The beautiful writing and different POVs. The stark truth to the horrors and atrocities that have occurred during this time. The pacing and tension, which made me blow through this book in two days. All of it was so captivating and I hope more books like this come to the YA genre.

I only wish the ending wasn't so abrupt. I found myself unsatisfied, since it felt a bit jarring. Probably because I grew attached to the characters and wanted the ending to be revealed just a little bit more. Despite my own subjective preference to the ending, I highly recommend this book, and I thank Joan for recommending it to me.

Bookish Feels: Kill The Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky

The Book: From debut author Goldy Moldavsky, the story of four superfan friends whose devotion to their favorite boy band has darkly comical and murderous results.

Okay, so just know from the start that it wasn't supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near The Ruperts, our favorite boy band.

We didn't mean to kidnap one of the guys. It kind of, sort of happened that way. But now he's tied up in our hotel room. And the worst part of all, it's Rupert P. All four members of The Ruperts might have the same first name, but they couldn't be more different. And Rupert P. is the biggest flop out of the whole group.

We didn't mean to hold hostage a member of The Ruperts, I swear. At least, I didn't. We are fans. Okay, superfans who spend all of our free time tweeting about the boys and updating our fan tumblrs. But so what, that's what you do when you love a group so much it hurts.

How did it get this far? Who knows. I mean midterms are coming up. I really do not have time to go to hell. (From Goodreads)

My Feels: This beauty of a book was recommended to me by Michella, awesome friend and book blogger extraordinaire!

If I had to describe this book in one word, I would pick fun. This story was highly entertaining. I adored the interesting commentary on fandoms and girls. I loved how Moldavsky portrayed these four friends who were all so different. Each character had their own motivations for being involved in the plan and it was well-executed. As a whole I thought this book was pretty clever and witty, and oh, so, enjoyable. The premise is unique from what's currently out on the market that I found it to be refreshing. I plowed through it like a bowl of ice cream. Yum.

Want some more 'fun' in your life? Consider putting this on your TBR ;)

One year later and a lesson learned.

Exactly a year from tomorrow, I started the manuscript that got me into Pitch Wars and landed me an agent. I never thought that MS would lead to all this, but it did, and it's so humbling to think about.

Funny enough, last year I was working on a contemporary story that just wasn't working. I went to the SCBWI WWA conference hoping to get some inspiration to finish the darn thing, but instead, I left with inspiration to shelve it and start over.

I say it's funny because I find myself in the same situation now. I finished A DIFFERENT KIND OF UNIVERSE, my latest WIP, and sent it to CP's. A few days later I got an e-mail from one of my CP's who expressed concerns for my MS after reading a couple of chapters. I had mixed feelings upon finishing the MS, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. (Now, if you haven't heard the saying, 'A CP is worth their weight in gold,' then I'm telling you now, because my CP Krystal is just that.) She suggested that we talk and discuss my MS and I agreed.

Her concerns for my MS were all 100% valid. Even I could see her points for why it wasn't working. In her critique, she was completely honest which I appreciated. It takes a true CP who has your best interests at heart to let you know that the MS was lacking. When it comes to reading/writing everything is always subjective, but I heeded her advice because she hit the head on the nail on why I didn't feel great about finishing: the story lacked my heart and passion. She could see through my writing that I wasn't into the story, and I guess my gut reaction when I finished should have told me that. But I was stubborn. I wanted to finish something. I was bouncing from one idea to another but then I'd quit. So when the ADKOU came along, I made it my goal to finish, but halfway through the story I didn't fall in love with the story like I thought I would, so how could I expect someone else to?

It was an important lesson in writing for me. A story is not just composed of plot, characters, motivations, settings, and etc; it's also composed with love. Corny as it sounds, you have to love the story passionately, because if you do, it will get finished--not because you need to make a daily word count, but because the story demands to be told. Your heart yearns for it to be fully realized. Your heart wants to triumph with your characters, it wants to fall in love, it wants to overcome whatever conflicts arise.

When I think about the poems and stories that I've written, my favorites are always the ones where I put a little of myself into, where my heart beats in between the words.

So, now, a year later. I am shelving a story and starting over. Maybe the next MS will capture my heart, demand to be told, and a year from now it'll take me somewhere I didn't expect to be.

Bookish Feels: Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

The Book: Lou Clark knows lots of things. She knows how many footsteps there are between the bus stop and home. She knows she likes working in The Buttered Bun tea shop and she knows she might not love her boyfriend Patrick.

What Lou doesn't know is she's about to lose her job or that knowing what's coming is what keeps her sane.

Will Traynor knows his motorcycle accident took away his desire to live. He knows everything feels very small and rather joyless now and he knows exactly how he's going to put a stop to that.

What Will doesn't know is that Lou is about to burst into his world in a riot of colour. And neither of them knows they're going to change the other for all time. (From Goodreads)

My Feels: OH MY HEART! Owwwwww!

Okay, I kinda knew what would happen in the end, so I told myself to be prepared and to not cry. And guess what? I didn't cry. I sobbed. Like fat, hot, wet tears trailing the side of my face as I clutched my kindle tightly, reading those words that broke me. Hopefully this post isn't too much of a spoiler, but if you've seen the movie trailer, then you have an idea of how heartbreaking this romance truly is (and if you haven't, I placed it below for you).

For me, it was more emotionally gutting than romantic, but that's because I loved Will. Though at times the pacing was a bit slow for my taste, Moyes did an amazing job with characterization with all characters, but mostly with Will. You could see his side clear as day and understand his argument. You could see why Lou had changed just by knowing him. And despite circumstances, you could see why the two grew to love one another. But to love someone, you also have to respect their wishes and I think Moyes did that beautifully (though she really battered my heart a bit). It's been awhile since a book made me cry or fall for a character so deeply, so all is forgiven Moyes ;)

Big thanks to Joan, again, for suggesting that I read this! If you pick this up, my only advice is to take your time and enjoy the story. I devoured it so quickly that I found myself crestfallen when it was over (like I literally did not get up from my couch for 20 minutes). If you've already read this one, comment below and let me know what you think! Will you be seeing the movie too? And how perfect is Sam Claflin for this role? *SWOONS*