Post-Seattle

It's been over a week since I've returned from Seattle. The past week seemed to go by so fast, yet upon reflection, so slow. Does that make sense? Or is my conception of time off the mark? Anyway, being back in Sacramento was a shock. Temperature shock that is. Luckily the past two days were nice, cloudy, and cool. I needed it. But now that I'm back and it's been over a month since school finished, I can't shake the feeling that I've come to the period in my life where all I'm doing is waiting, waiting, and waiting. For what exactly? Who really knows.

I've been submitting job applications, but after I submit them I imagine them diving into a pool of other applications in the black digital space, and soon enough mine becomes lost in the shuffle that I can't even distinguish my applications from all the others. Am I truly lost?

But maybe being lost, as they say, is the only way to be found. All I know is... I miss the coffee in Seattle (and of course the people ;]).

I definitely can't wait to go back. For those who haven't gone. I recommend it. Especially if you're from the hot, dry, valley like I am.

-M

Cereal Alternative! Milk+Strawberries+Chocolate=Yum

I don't allow myself to have cereal often at breakfast because of the sugar content and a serving size just never really fills me up. So instead I made my own alternative to cereal! All you need are three ingredients: your choice of rice cracker (I used a gluten-free chocolate flavored), milk (I chose unsweetened almond milk) and fresh fruit (hence my strawberries). It's all so simple: crumble cracker, cut fruit, combine altogether with milk! I feel like a kid again.

And just to make you smile, here's a photo of Blaire ;]

Have a great Tuesday everyone!

Post-Grad Update

Have no fear, I will no longer disappear!

As you can obviously tell, I've been away from my blog for awhile. There's no legit reason why. Rather, I've been lost in the shuffle. You would think that after graduating I would be blogging like crazy with all my free time, but to be honest I've been quite lost. All I've known is school and now that it's over, life's a bit disorienting. Not in a bad way of course. It's just something new that I'm trying to adjust to.

This post is simply my apologies and a notice for you all to be prepared. More posts are on their way and there's a lot of things to update you all on.

-Miss M

If I'm Gonna Fall In Love-A Rocket to the Moon

I'm gonna take my time
Making sure that the feeling's right
Instead of staying up all night
Wondering where you are

Miles and miles away
In a town, in another state
I wanna know if you just can take
The thought of us apart

If I'm gonna fall in love
There's gotta be more than just enough
I gotta get that old feeling
I gotta get that old high

I come from an empty town
Far away from the city sound
I like to settle down some day
I need to know your past
Something that'll take you back
Cause I want a girl like that one day

If I'm gonna fall in love
There's gotta be more than just enough
I gotta get that old feeling
I gotta get that old high

You got a love to own
Gotta live life like a rolling stone
I gotta get that old feeling
I gotta get that old high

If I'm gonna fall in love

I can't stop wondering why
They take us to a longer time
Maybe I should just let go
But baby all I know

Is I'm gonna fall in love
Some day, some way you'll show up
I'm gonna get that old feeling
I'm gonna get that old high

If I'm gonna fall in love
There's gotta be more than just enough
I gotta get that old feeling
I gotta get that old high

You got a love to own
Gotta live life like a rolling stone
I gotta get that old feeling
I gotta get that old high

(I gotta get that old feeling)
(I gotta get that old high)
If I'm gonna fall in love
(I gotta get that old feeling)
(I gotta get that old high)
I gotta get that old high
(I gotta get that old feeling)
(I gotta get that old high)
I gotta get that old high
(I gotta get that old feeling)
(I gotta get that old high)
If I'm gonna fall in love

Envelop(e)

Like infinite particles, dancing in the air

your eyes pass through me.

I sing to the silent music—although you wouldn’t know it.

I cry with the skies—trying hard not to show it.

I walk between the lines—neither here nor there.

I die once more—breathing in the air.

Oh, how I love(d) you.

How curious                it is

             to be obliterated…

Despite, my loving sacrifice.

Like the decay of daisies, distorting their perfumes

the whiff of it, pushes you away.

Like spilled ink, the promise of words

smeared and unread.

Do not fear

my dear.

I speak in letters—sealed, not sent.

Sex On The Beach

One day I succeeded.

The sex didn’t mean anything

the beach did.

I drank black coffee across from you.

Traces of my mascara littered on my face

because my faucet eyes ran dry.

From my lips came all of these words.

Sounds of nonsense.

Sounds of regret.

One day had become every single other day.

As I tried to move on.

As I tried to forget you.

Your eyes now meant for someone else.

You stare at a stranger.

You give me a passing glance.

Three hundred and forty miles.

I drove to see you.

I drove to disappear.

I cried all the way—there and back.

Thought of us together.

Thought of us apart.

Facing the ocean, you watch it

waiting for the day

it opens like an open road.

Little do you know,

it’s my blue wasteland of sorrows

the gravesite of all our tomorrows.

The blue sapphire tombstone—of us.

Vanity's Downfall

Am I a flower yet?

Enough to be kissed by your gaze?

& held so that my perfume lingers

            on you?

I wonder, if that day

will ever come

where your voice is silent

and I no longer succumb

to the taste in my head.

Stuffed with the words I translated

            into a broken language.

So. Full. I’ve lost my appetite.

I can’t get past it.

The layers, upon layers,

that cover me—

until I can no longer be found.

Held captive by dysmorphic demons

that Despair had conjured.

“The flower is beautiful.”

Slender and bright.

Whimsical as it sways.

            Something fragile.

The fairies say

its the key to happiness.

Comply, and you’ll be free.

Somehow, it’s a lie.

A false promise of stars

to disguise the waste of polluted dreams.

I’ve opened all the doors

but it only leads to here.

Exit is equated with stability,

But that’s impossible when I’m standing on mirrors;

because when I look down,

I have a long way to go,

            before I reach up.