Bookish Feels: Kill The Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky

The Book: From debut author Goldy Moldavsky, the story of four superfan friends whose devotion to their favorite boy band has darkly comical and murderous results.

Okay, so just know from the start that it wasn't supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near The Ruperts, our favorite boy band.

We didn't mean to kidnap one of the guys. It kind of, sort of happened that way. But now he's tied up in our hotel room. And the worst part of all, it's Rupert P. All four members of The Ruperts might have the same first name, but they couldn't be more different. And Rupert P. is the biggest flop out of the whole group.

We didn't mean to hold hostage a member of The Ruperts, I swear. At least, I didn't. We are fans. Okay, superfans who spend all of our free time tweeting about the boys and updating our fan tumblrs. But so what, that's what you do when you love a group so much it hurts.

How did it get this far? Who knows. I mean midterms are coming up. I really do not have time to go to hell. (From Goodreads)

My Feels: This beauty of a book was recommended to me by Michella, awesome friend and book blogger extraordinaire!

If I had to describe this book in one word, I would pick fun. This story was highly entertaining. I adored the interesting commentary on fandoms and girls. I loved how Moldavsky portrayed these four friends who were all so different. Each character had their own motivations for being involved in the plan and it was well-executed. As a whole I thought this book was pretty clever and witty, and oh, so, enjoyable. The premise is unique from what's currently out on the market that I found it to be refreshing. I plowed through it like a bowl of ice cream. Yum.

Want some more 'fun' in your life? Consider putting this on your TBR ;)

One year later and a lesson learned.

Exactly a year from tomorrow, I started the manuscript that got me into Pitch Wars and landed me an agent. I never thought that MS would lead to all this, but it did, and it's so humbling to think about.

Funny enough, last year I was working on a contemporary story that just wasn't working. I went to the SCBWI WWA conference hoping to get some inspiration to finish the darn thing, but instead, I left with inspiration to shelve it and start over.

I say it's funny because I find myself in the same situation now. I finished A DIFFERENT KIND OF UNIVERSE, my latest WIP, and sent it to CP's. A few days later I got an e-mail from one of my CP's who expressed concerns for my MS after reading a couple of chapters. I had mixed feelings upon finishing the MS, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. (Now, if you haven't heard the saying, 'A CP is worth their weight in gold,' then I'm telling you now, because my CP Krystal is just that.) She suggested that we talk and discuss my MS and I agreed.

Her concerns for my MS were all 100% valid. Even I could see her points for why it wasn't working. In her critique, she was completely honest which I appreciated. It takes a true CP who has your best interests at heart to let you know that the MS was lacking. When it comes to reading/writing everything is always subjective, but I heeded her advice because she hit the head on the nail on why I didn't feel great about finishing: the story lacked my heart and passion. She could see through my writing that I wasn't into the story, and I guess my gut reaction when I finished should have told me that. But I was stubborn. I wanted to finish something. I was bouncing from one idea to another but then I'd quit. So when the ADKOU came along, I made it my goal to finish, but halfway through the story I didn't fall in love with the story like I thought I would, so how could I expect someone else to?

It was an important lesson in writing for me. A story is not just composed of plot, characters, motivations, settings, and etc; it's also composed with love. Corny as it sounds, you have to love the story passionately, because if you do, it will get finished--not because you need to make a daily word count, but because the story demands to be told. Your heart yearns for it to be fully realized. Your heart wants to triumph with your characters, it wants to fall in love, it wants to overcome whatever conflicts arise.

When I think about the poems and stories that I've written, my favorites are always the ones where I put a little of myself into, where my heart beats in between the words.

So, now, a year later. I am shelving a story and starting over. Maybe the next MS will capture my heart, demand to be told, and a year from now it'll take me somewhere I didn't expect to be.

Bookish Feels: Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

The Book: Lou Clark knows lots of things. She knows how many footsteps there are between the bus stop and home. She knows she likes working in The Buttered Bun tea shop and she knows she might not love her boyfriend Patrick.

What Lou doesn't know is she's about to lose her job or that knowing what's coming is what keeps her sane.

Will Traynor knows his motorcycle accident took away his desire to live. He knows everything feels very small and rather joyless now and he knows exactly how he's going to put a stop to that.

What Will doesn't know is that Lou is about to burst into his world in a riot of colour. And neither of them knows they're going to change the other for all time. (From Goodreads)

My Feels: OH MY HEART! Owwwwww!

Okay, I kinda knew what would happen in the end, so I told myself to be prepared and to not cry. And guess what? I didn't cry. I sobbed. Like fat, hot, wet tears trailing the side of my face as I clutched my kindle tightly, reading those words that broke me. Hopefully this post isn't too much of a spoiler, but if you've seen the movie trailer, then you have an idea of how heartbreaking this romance truly is (and if you haven't, I placed it below for you).

For me, it was more emotionally gutting than romantic, but that's because I loved Will. Though at times the pacing was a bit slow for my taste, Moyes did an amazing job with characterization with all characters, but mostly with Will. You could see his side clear as day and understand his argument. You could see why Lou had changed just by knowing him. And despite circumstances, you could see why the two grew to love one another. But to love someone, you also have to respect their wishes and I think Moyes did that beautifully (though she really battered my heart a bit). It's been awhile since a book made me cry or fall for a character so deeply, so all is forgiven Moyes ;)

Big thanks to Joan, again, for suggesting that I read this! If you pick this up, my only advice is to take your time and enjoy the story. I devoured it so quickly that I found myself crestfallen when it was over (like I literally did not get up from my couch for 20 minutes). If you've already read this one, comment below and let me know what you think! Will you be seeing the movie too? And how perfect is Sam Claflin for this role? *SWOONS*

Bookish Feels: I'll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson

The Book: A brilliant, luminous story of first love, family, loss, and betrayal for fans of John Green, David Levithan, and Rainbow Rowell

Jude and her twin brother, Noah, are incredibly close. At thirteen, isolated Noah draws constantly and is falling in love with the charismatic boy next door, while daredevil Jude cliff-dives and wears red-red lipstick and does the talking for both of them. But three years later, Jude and Noah are barely speaking. Something has happened to wreck the twins in different and dramatic ways . . . until Jude meets a cocky, broken, beautiful boy, as well as someone else—an even more unpredictable new force in her life. The early years are Noah's story to tell. The later years are Jude's. What the twins don't realize is that they each have only half the story, and if they could just find their way back to one another, they’d have a chance to remake their world.

This radiant novel from the acclaimed, award-winning author of The Sky Is Everywhere will leave you breathless and teary and laughing—often all at once.

My Feels: Beautiful, heartbreaking, and poignant. Oh! My heart! The poetic writing is gorgeous, honest, and real, which made these characters leap off the page. You could just feel the yearning of these characters and the complexities within them. I liked how the novel portrayed that even good people can do bad things. That we make choices and have to live with them and how we should always be honest and true to ourselves. I also found the exploration of sexuality in the novel to be very well done and believable. I wish I had this book as a teen. Upon finishing, it impresses a new lens for you to see the world and as an adolescent it would have showed me the vibrant colors of life I'd missed. Remake your world, friends, by starting with this novel ;) You won't regret it.

'A Different Kind Of Universe' & my current state of mind.

This past weekend I finished my second draft of A DIFFERENT KIND OF UNIVERSE and I don't know how I feel about it. This MS has given me such mixed emotions. From a strange, frenzied brainstorming sesh that one Friday afternoon when the idea came to me, to the weary read-through where I felt myself cringing and wondering what I was even thinking when I wrote this story. There are many things I love about it, and some things I don't.

Deep down I know the MS is not at its full potential and I struggle with figuring out how to get it there or if it's even ready to be fully realized. There's an empty and confused feeling in the place where a sense of accomplishment should be. So it's time for other eyes to be on the MS to help me out of this tangled web I'm in so I sent the MS to three CP's on Saturday. And for the time being, I'll try not to think about it.

And right when I want to be done with it, a new character blows into my life and I get a 'shiny new idea' for my next project. It happened on Saturday, April 2nd, when my sister was in town. She, Michael, and I had finished brunch in Seattle and were headed back to the house. When we were going over the I-90 bridge, she (this character) manifested herself into my mind and told me her predicament. She was snarky, cynical, and not very likeable, but there was a reason why for it, and she told me that too, but not as an excuse but as a pull to draw me in. I turned to Michael, who was in the driver's seat, and told him about this idea. And speaking it out loud to him, I realized was just what the character wanted. I'd already started telling her story without even writing a single word.

Naturally after getting home, I headed to my desk, cracked open my notebook and jotted down the idea. And then I left it at that. I returned to ADKOU (because you always gotta finish, right?), but said character kept weaseling herself into my state of mind--despite never wanting to tell me her name (only her alias--Delilah). So, I ended up giving in. I gave her two pages and wrote her opening to get a feel of her voice and then I put it/her away.

Now that ADKOU is out with CP's, I know little miss Delilah is waiting for me, giving me glimpses of scenes to entice me, but I find myself afraid of a few things:

1. I'm afraid I'll have mixed feelings about this story like I did with ADKOU--and this kind of feeling makes my heart ache. Cue doubt: Am I not a good enough writer to pull it off? Are my ideas coming off stale? ARRGGGHHH. Go away doubt!
2. I don't know if I can tell Delilah's story the way she wants, because she's so unlike me or any character I've ever written and she kind of, um, scares me.
3. This MS would be considered 'Paranormal' and I don't know if the market will be opening up to that anytime soon (but of course, I know I should never write according to the market since it's so unpredictable).
4. I don't normally think of characters in the way I do Delilah. She has made herself known quite aggressively when I was thinking of writing a coming-of-age story that's been on the back burner for a while. Which makes me wonder, am I slightly crazy? Because she's so vibrant and pulsing. I've never experienced that with any other character. With TJE, Avere was dragging me into her adventure and opening her heart to me. With ADKOU, Lien wanted me to observe and to watch her get into sticky situations but also grow. Delilah is just. Well. She's basically telling it like it is and I am scrabbling to get down the words, but it's so hard because she's so complicated and it's a lot of work getting to know her. So, yeah. That's a challenge.

I know I'll probably work on Delilah's story next (since it's not like she's gonna let me off the hook), but I don't know where to start. Maybe once Delilah tells me her real name will I start working.

To you writers out there, how do your story ideas occur? I've found that it's different for each story I've written so far, is it the same for you? Comment below!

Bookish Feels: Firsts by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn

The Book: Seventeen-year-old Mercedes Ayres has an open-door policy when it comes to her bedroom, but only if the guy fulfills a specific criteria: he has to be a virgin. Mercedes lets the boys get their awkward, fumbling first times over with, and all she asks in return is that they give their girlfriends the perfect first time- the kind Mercedes never had herself.

Keeping what goes on in her bedroom a secret has been easy- so far. Her absentee mother isn’t home nearly enough to know about Mercedes’ extracurricular activities, and her uber-religious best friend, Angela, won’t even say the word “sex” until she gets married. But Mercedes doesn’t bank on Angela’s boyfriend finding out about her services and wanting a turn- or on Zach, who likes her for who she is instead of what she can do in bed.

When Mercedes’ perfect system falls apart, she has to find a way to salvage her reputation and figure out where her heart really belongs in the process. Funny, smart, and true-to-life, FIRSTS is a one-of-a-kind young adult novel about growing up. (From Goodreads)

My Feels: My friend Joan absolutely adored this book, so I knew I had to give it a go, and I'm SO GLAD I DID. This book is layered, filled with complex characters, and gave me such a mix of emotions. I gobbled this up so quickly immediately hooked by Mercedes voice. For someone who's sleeping with other people's boyfriends, I didn't think I would sympathize with the MC as much as I did. And because of that, I have to applaud Flynn for her characterization. She's developed fascinating characters and relationships that prompt the reader to keep reading. This is definitely a bang of a debut, so I'm excited to see what else Flynn comes up with next. If you haven't read this yet, I highly recommend putting this on your TBR list!

Bookish Feels: Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon

The Book: My disease is as rare as it is famous. Basically, I’m allergic to the world. I don’t leave my house, have not left my house in seventeen years. The only people I ever see are my mom and my nurse, Carla.

But then one day, a moving truck arrives next door. I look out my window, and I see him. He’s tall, lean and wearing all black—black T-shirt, black jeans, black sneakers, and a black knit cap that covers his hair completely. He catches me looking and stares at me. I stare right back. His name is Olly.

Maybe we can’t predict the future, but we can predict some things. For example, I am certainly going to fall in love with Olly. It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster.  (From Goodreads)

My Feels: So this is a book I would absolutely love as a teenager. As an adult, I found myself loving it too! With the exception of the plot twist (you'll either hate or love it, or if you're like me, saw it coming a mile away), everything is to be adored in this story. The rich and vibrant characters, the bits of art work that added to the story, the slow-burn of falling in love, and the human desire of wanting more. Well balanced and paced, this is the kind of read you'll burn through in one sitting cozied up with a blanket and a hot beverage. Super cutesy and fun with a lot of heart I know you'll enjoy.