IWSG: Distance

Hi All--

Last month I wrote about high anxiety and I'm happy to report that I am doing much better. Within the month I've been really focusing on drafting project M4 in seven weeks, with this week being the seventh! Almost done! I have high hopes for this story and I'm really hoping that it's 'the one.' The one with enough hook, the one with enough complexity, the one with enough heart that will capture an agent's eyes (after extensive revisions of course). But at the same time I have so much doubt within in, that I wonder if I'm just pumping myself up for no good. Because maybe this isn't 'the one.' Maybe it won't be enough.

I know I should take it one day at a time. One word at a time. One paragraph at a time. One page at a time. But then my mind wanders though I know I should be patient, but all I'm thinking about is the distance. The distance between now and where I want to be, and it drives me crazy!

Will I ever get there? How long will it take? Am I doing enough? Am I up to par with the competition? Cue nonstop questions that give me heart palpitations.

Am I insane for thinking I can do this?

I go back and forth constantly. I'm determined, but at the same time I'm tired. I treat writing like a second job and sometimes I'd just like that one job that gives me some cash flow and more freedom to write, aka the dream job.

But there's a difference between dreaming and doing, and I find myself doing both. How do you guys keep your sanity at times like this? Comment below.

This post is in participation of an amazing writers support group started by the just amazing Alex J. Cavanaugh, making writing a little less lonely and filled with encouragement. Thanks also goes to this month's co-hosts: M. Pax, Tracy Jo, Patricia Lynne, Rachna Chhabria, Feather Stone, and Randi Lee

Weekly Writing Progress Report - M4 Week 6

Hi All--

Another week done. And now I am on my last week (hopefully). After taking three non-writing days for traveling, I completely forgot about my post. I guess I was just too excited to reunite with my sisters for the getaway weekend. Can't wait to post all about it in the following days to come.

Week 6
Project - M4 YA Fantasy
First Draft

Word count this week: 8,596
Word count to date: 62,147

This week in writing & what I've learned:

Last week was a short work week from the three day weekend, but boy did it feel long. Sometimes I felt like I was counting down the hours until my sister weekend. Towards the beginning of the week, I was pretty focused, but once the mid week hit, I think my mind was elsewhere and I started to lose it.

Now that I've entered the 'ending' part of my manuscript, it's proven more complicated than I imagined. Now I keep second guessing myself wondering if there's too much stuff going on that will confuse the reader. I guess that's what CP's and Betas will clarify for me. It can also be a pacing issue too, which is something I can hash out during revision.

This is really bad that the editor side of my brain is pushing my creative side out. I guess, more wine please? Ha. I promise I'm not an alcoholic. The weird thing that happened this week was that I imagined a certain scene unfolding a certain way. But as I wrote it, it kind of took its own turn and the characters revealed one of my twists in a way I hadn't planned. I woke up the next day thinking about what I'd written and wondered if I should leave it alone. Spontaneity is fine, but I just imagined this scene a specific way since I'd started the manuscript. Should I go with my first gut instinct or trust my characters? If I decided on the former, that would mean going back and changing two chapters I wrote after this scene. Oh dear. Cue stress. But this is just the first draft, so what did I learn?

• Stick to your goals, draft and don't look back. If you want to change something suddenly, then do so, but there's no need to go back and revise chapters affected until after getting to 'The End.'

What's even more ironic? I forgot about my second 'twist' I'd planned for the ending. So after another day of overthinking, I realized my characters were right to reveal the first twist when they did, because the second twist was way bigger and more important.

• So trust your characters even when you aren't sure why something happened a certain way. Maybe it was meant to happen differently.
• Oh yeah, and don't forget your plot twists after planting them for like the whole of the manuscript! I swear I don't think I forgot per se, I just knew it as fact for so long I forgot that my characters didn't. Whoops.

All in all, the week has been crazy busy, but I've squeezed in some fun with bubble baths, happy hours, yummy dinners, and books.

Oh yeah, speaking of which. Look who loved my book review of Magonia? Maria Dahvana Headley herself! She even retweeted it! Hahaha. I know. I'm so fangirling right now!

Book Review: Awake by Natasha Preston

I rated it 2 out of 5 stars.

 

Overview: Scarlett doesn’t remember anything before the age of five. Her parents say it’s from the trauma of seeing her house burn down, and she accepts the life they’ve created for her without question—until a car accident causes Scarlett to start remembering pieces of an unfamiliar past.

When a new guy moves into town, Scarlett feels an instant spark. But Noah knows the truth of Scarlett’s past, and he’s determined to shield her from it...because Scarlett grew up in a cult called Eternal Light, controlled by her biological parents.

And they want her back.  

Review: First off, thanks so much to Sourcebooks Fire and NetGalley for giving me an ARC (advanced reader's copy), in exchange for feedback and an honest review. The pub date for Awake is scheduled for August 4, 2015.

Can I just say the cover art is beautiful? It's something that would've caught my eye and would have made me pick it up to read the blurb. Not many cult books out right now, so it definitely has that 'different' appeal, but that's where all the appeal ends.

Right off the bat, Preston begins with an insta-love relationship. The two main characters seriously fall for each other within two chapters. Frankly, the whole thing is kind of unbelievable. Not only because the romance was flat, but because the characters themselves were pretty flat. Next was the forced dialogue. It didn't flow at times, and kind of made me cringed. I felt the writing style took away from the book, rather than supplementing it. Perhaps the stilted writing was supposed to illuminate the creepy aspect of the story, but it just didn't register for me. Also the ending was just a bit too perfect, 'everything falling into place' sort of thing. Combine everything I've mentioned and it rendered the whole story unrealistic.

I really wanted to like this story and I think the message about perception, beliefs, and how our environment or society plays a role in it is a very powerful one indeed. But the way it came off the page did not do the message justice. Add a little more depth, emotion, but less angst in the characters, then a dash of complexity and then I think Preston has something. It just has to be more convincing for a higher rating. Unfortunately, I gave it two stars out of five.

About Me

 

If things had gone according to plan, I would have been in my second year of vet school, not working in a cubicle and writing in my free time with dreams of publication.

But, life never goes according to plan.

The only member of my family born on U.S. soil, I was afforded many opportunities that my sisters were not. Education at a young age, proficiency in English, the ability to adjust to the country, for it was all that I knew. From a young age I exceled in academics, leadership roles, sports, and music. With most Asian American families, success equated with professions in the medical field and sciences.

I didn’t want to disappoint, with a love for animals, I’d thought I’d be a veterinarian one day.

But there was another side to me. One with a wild imagination, a need to lose myself in words, and a childish dream to be an author.

Yet, I pushed that aside, making it a goal to attend that best school for Veterinary Medicine, even if it was just for an undergraduate degree. University of California, Davis.

But a few things happened along the way. I had a wonderful Honor’s English teacher my junior year of high school who suggested I apply for an English major instead. In the end I didn’t. I checked the ‘Animal Biology’ box instead, but her suggestion always stayed with me.

The many years between high school and college had many twists and turns of realizations, heartbreak, and growth. As a young adult, I experienced more in a short amount of years than the whole of my life. Deep down, I always knew I wanted to write YA. This period of life that was so volatile, so surprising, so full of raw emotion, it was one I’d never forget and was something I yearned to put on the page.

I finally did what my teacher had suggested four years ago. I switched my major to English Literature with an Emphasis in Creative Writing. A year and a half later, I graduated as the commencement speaker of my graduating class.

Things didn’t go according to plan, but there were clues that this was the path I’d always meant to take. My love for books. My journals, now numbering over twenty. Poems that I would scribble into my science notebooks. And short stories I’d tucked away, never thinking of them more than passing time.

In my blog you will find me. Posts of my life, posts of books I’ve read, posts about my writing progress, all contributing to my dreams of being a YA writer.

Originally from Sacramento, California, I now reside in Seattle, Washington. In my time here, I’ve participated in Hugo House’s YA Workshop Course, am a member of SCBWI, and am currently typing away at my stories while working full-time.

Thank you so much for visiting my blog. I hope you continue to follow me on my journey as I write, revise, edit, love, laugh, cry, and make my way through life. 

 

 

Book Review: Magonia by Maria Dahvana Headley

I rated it 5 out of 5 stars.

 

Overview: Neil Gaiman’s Stardust meets John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars in this fantasy about a girl caught between two worlds... two races…and two destinies.

Aza Ray is drowning in thin air.

Since she was a baby, Aza has suffered from a mysterious lung disease that makes it ever harder for her to breathe, to speak—to live.

So when Aza catches a glimpse of a ship in the sky, her family chalks it up to a cruel side effect of her medication. But Aza doesn't think this is a hallucination. She can hear someone on the ship calling her name.

Only her best friend, Jason, listens. Jason, who’s always been there. Jason, for whom she might have more-than-friendly feelings. But before Aza can consider that thrilling idea, something goes terribly wrong. Aza is lost to our world—and found, by another. Magonia.

Above the clouds, in a land of trading ships, Aza is not the weak and dying thing she was. In Magonia, she can breathe for the first time. Better, she has immense power—and as she navigates her new life, she discovers that war is coming. Magonia and Earth are on the cusp of a reckoning. And in Aza’s hands lies the fate of the whole of humanity—including the boy who loves her. Where do her loyalties lie?

Review: I finished this book two weeks ago, and yet I still can't stop thinking about it. When I picked up the book at the bookstore, I instantly fell for the cover. But you know what they say, you can't judge a book by its cover, so I put it back down. But then I saw 'Stardust meets The Fault in Our Stars,' two books that I absolutely love! So I took the chance, bought the hardcover and took it home.

When I finished, all I could do is sit and think, this is why I read YA. This is why I want to write YA. It was that good.

It beautifully combines science fiction with magical realism, and a tiny bit of historical aspect, yet grounds it in reality. Because Headley's able to pull that off, it blew me away. Yes, it was similar to Stardust and The Fault in Our Stars in some way, but it was able to hold its own in originality and prose. The characters are genuine and flawed at the same time, making them dynamic and believable. I'll admit in the first few chapters I didn't particularly like Aza's voice, but it wasn't awful that I couldn't get past it. And as I went along, I began to sympathize with her and could understand her mild ranting.

The book as a whole, however, was charming, elegant, and captivating. At times it touched my heart. I teared up twice surprisingly. But it kept me surprised throughout and did a great job with pacing. Towards the end, I kind of guessed what would happen, but it didn't take away from the emotional appeal to finish. As a beginning of a series, it was strong, well thought out, with beautiful imagery that leaves an impression upon the mind.

Now do yourself a favor and read this book. Not because it's my new favorite YA, but because I know you'll love it too.

I know everyone has dreams of flying, but this isn’t a dream of flying. It’s a dream of floating, and the ocean is not water but wind.
I call it a dream, but it feels realer than my life.

Memorial Day Weekend: Staycation

Michael and I had this running joke that we were doing a 'staycation' for Memorial Day Weekend. His family was out of town, and it seemed like all of our friends were out as well. Staycation's are kind of nice though, it allows you to relax in the comfort of your own home, and gives time to get those pesky chores, like laundry or grocery shopping for the week, out of the way.

Saturday night, after a chill day of writing (for me) and working (for him), we made it out to Ballard for our date night. Since we hadn't gone to Walrus and Carpenter since the end of last summer, we decided to revisit and then go out for drinks at Bastille.

Walrus and Carpenter has the best oysters in Seattle. If oysters are what you want, this is the place to go.

They also have really good garden, seafood, and meat plates too, but we decided to go all seafood buy getting friend oysters (not pictured), grilled octopus, and sardines. Sardines were definitely a standout and flavor packed.

They also have THE BEST DESSERT! If you know me well, you know I love desserts and the bread putting is to die for and the best dessert you'll fine in Seattle. It's hot, cool, sweet, salty, creamy, all wrapped in one.

After that we got sparkling rose at Bastille before heading home.

Sunday was low key as we made a home cooked meal together and spent the day drinking rose. I got a little bit tipsy while writing which was good and bad at the same time because it really sparked my creativity, but then reached a certain point, getting tired after a glass or two. Still no regrets. I'm making immense progress with the WIP. Cannot wait until it's done!

Today, I felt a bit under the weather. I think it's the grey getting to me. It's so cloudy here that I don't think I've seen the sun since Thursday. Internally, I'm also feeling a bit unbalanced and could use another day off, but maybe getting back into routine will help too.

By the way, we also saw 'Ex Machina' today. It was so trippy. If you're into light sci-fi films, I recommend it.

Hope you all had a good three day weekend!

Weekly Writing Progress Report - M4 Week 5

Hi All--

Today is the last day of week five! Whooo! So even though it's only 2:36 p.m. as I write this, I am turning off my computer for the rest of the day (after I right this post) to enjoy the start of memorial day weekend!

Week 5
Project: M4 YA Fantasy
First Draft

Word count this week: 13,271
Total word count to date: 53,551

This week in writing:

I am shocked at the words I've churned out this week. Work has been so busy that I've really started to feel like 'blah,' all week. I still forced myself to get moving and work out (albeit very short work outs), but I've also been snacking way too much and eating too much chocolate. I guess you could say I stress eat :( This is basically what I looked like all week (with Blaire as my model):

crawling under desk at work

sleep after snacking too much

what am I to do with this? exercise?

Thank goodness for this three day weekend. Hopefully I'll rest up and be back to normal. Whatever that is.

What was critical this week for writing was being prepared when I met the page. Needed to increase that productivity, yo! So word sprints all the time and checking my lists (of scenes to write). I also bribed myself with food. 1,000 words and then I could have a piece of chocolate -_-. I know, I really am horrible this week on my diet. But what didn't pay off on the scale paid off on my word count. Less than 20,000 words to my 70,000 word goal! *Throws Confetti* But as I'm nearing the end, with six chapters left to write, I'm thinking I'll be going a little over the word count I've expected. Which is pretty cool. So now I'm not focusing solely on word count anymore, I just really need to push myself and finish this thing in the next two weeks. I do have an upcoming trip to Vegas next weekend, so hopefully that doesn't distract/deter me that much. But if so, c'est la vie.

Interesting tidbits about the manuscript:

• I currently average 3,000 words per chapter / 9-10 pages per chapter
• From what I've written so far and what I've planned out for the next couple of scenes, I guesstimate I'll have 24 chapters total.
• My chapter titles are mostly one word, with a couple that are two. I like trigger words that give me a gist of what I've written without having to delve back into the pages. Take a look into my scrivener file! 

• I still have no idea what the working title is.
• According to Scrivener, I've written 153 pages. Not bad for a vomit draft :P

Getting past the dreaded middle, while eyeing that ending:

• Trust and allow yourself some freedom - Last week I had a difficult time with the middle trying to bridge what was currently going on in the story with where I wanted to end up. This week, I was still in the middle phase, but what really helped me was having a plan, but also allowing some leeway for my character to guide me to the next step. So though I never planned for Captain Cavanaugh in this story, he appeared to me like a chance meeting. Because for my main character, it was a chance meeting. Ha! Now I'm smitten with him, so he'll definitely be a minor character in the following books in the series. So yeah, let yourself and your character explore, because you never know where you'll end up or who'll you meet. Captain Cavanaugh just ended up being the answer to a plot solution I needed. Know that it's okay to deviate from the outline once and awhile.
• Treat yourself - Yes, I've been snacking like crazy, but I think it's really important to treat yourself while writing as a way to applaud yourself and keep your stamina up. Back in college I used to run half-marathon's and I would always eat sports jelly beans to give myself a boost at the six mile mark. Same concept. You need fuel to write. For me, that consisted of tea, a good breakfast, and a bubble bath (not pictured).

batter: banana, egg, oatmeal, and chia seeds topping: blueberries agave and two slices of bacon. YUM.

• Look forward - Keep in mind what you're working towards. That beautiful ending you've had since you started writing chapter one. It is coming, you will get there. Keep on keepin' on.
• Take a break - If you've been working really hard and then one day you are just feeling so unmotivated. It means you're burnt out and need a break. Like, me, today. I wrote what I could, switched gears with this blog post, and then I'm gonna get dressed and go out with my main squeeze on a night on the town. Because you know what? We only get one life, and yeah we enjoy typing away and creating our stories, but we also need to live. That's something I always need to remind myself.

                     

Hope all is well writing friends. Remember to live, and remember those who have served.